Friday, July 08, 2005

Has it really been six months?

Well here we go....It has now been six months since the Evil Empire put the hammer down, or better yet, we bit the bullet. In true swaggering Keith Richards rock and roll style we stuck to our guns and to an agreement we signed many years ago. No Drake and Zeke show for 6 months. It's not as easy or financially rewarding as it may sound. At least I could get back on the air a little early and help build what is turning out to be a great radio station. A couple of long vacations and a ton of free time is what my buddy got.

But now the is band back together again. Marky B is in the house for sports, I'll handle the wacky stories and Drake will, well, be Drake.

I can't begin to tell you how much we appreciate everyone's good vibes in the last 180 days. For a stupid little radio show we sure have some great people listening. With all of your support Drake didn't lose it in the Wal-Mart or end up wandering around naked somewhere, and for that I say thank you.

The next few weeks should make for some interesting radio...and for some reason I can't stop thinking of the confrontation in the bowling alley between "The Jesus" and "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski. If you don't know what I'm talking about go rent the movie.

Monday, June 20, 2005

What's in the News? Crap...All crap.

When did network TV get their priorities so screwed up? Why do we need a two part interview with the "Runaway Bride"? What could that bug-eyed twat have to offer that would make any difference in the real world? Do people really care?
Network TV has sunken to new lows...Meet Your New Mommy. WTF? I thought buxom chicks eating bugs and puking on Fear Factor was enough but I guess the powers-that-be think otherwise. It's sad when the folks that made Jerry Springer famous decide what the average Joe wants. At least I have my soaps still....They get more and more like porn every day.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

M-i-c-k-e-y....M-O-N-E-Y!!!!

I just got back from the 12 person "Family Vacation From Hell" at Disney World and was going to rag on "the mouse" for an eternity, but after reading about the kid that died on a ride my kid had been on two days earlier, I changed my mind....

I have been thinking about canning this "blog thing". ... I mean, why would anybody care what I think about anything anyway.

Instead, I am going to surprise my "internet deprived" thirteen year-old-son and let him vent for awhile. Ladies and gentlemen...I present Zach and his thoughts on the world.

If he is good at it, I may let him do it all the time...... Of course he has to change the font first...


Hey everyone this is Zach, Zeke's son. I don't know what to say, but today has been boring as hell. I sat at home all day watching music videos because its the only thing on at 7 in the morning, besides the stupid Michael Jackson trial (who gives a crap). Then my dad got home and had to leave again to go to another meeting, he doesn't only work until 10 he's on the computer most the time doing business and other stupid old people stuff. Then he got home and I went to my room and listened to some Senses Fail, Hawthorne Heights, Blink 182, Fall Out Boy, and other awesome bands. Then I played some bass, rocked out, and skateboarded. That's basically it. What a boring day it was.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Keep the Change You Poor Bastard

I turned forty over the weekend and had a chance or two to reflect when I wasn’t doing the usual wife and kids thing. Reading the paper Sunday morning, I realized how screwed up our world has gotten lately. When I was a kid we were scared of the Russians and that was about it. Today….take your pick. But enough of the apocalypse chitchat, what I want to ramble about is tipping. Not leaning back in your seat while you drive, gratuity. To Insure Prompt Service. Not a city in China etc.

I know how to do two things to support my family, radio and bartending. Thankfully, I have not had to tend bar on a regular basis in a long time. The way people tip in this town I would be lining up for government cheese in no time. Bartenders are a lot like radio dorks. There are only a few good ones and they make most of the money. Just remember, most of these guys are not dangerous. Degenerate? Maybe. The worst thing that could happen is they may crash at your house for a few days and eat all your food.
Give them a few bucks, especially if your ugly wife/girlfriend/gay friend has just ordered a complicated frozen drink. A good rule of thumb….”If you make more that forty grand a year and you don’t tip 20% you are a shit-heel. If you don’t make more than forty grand a year, don’t go to bars until you do.”

There is a show on the Food Network called 40 Dollars a Day where host Rachael Ray eats her way through a city for less than forty bucks. Although she is a hot piece of gastronomic tail, she is the Queen of non-tipping beotches! I’ll bet she never goes back to the same town again and I bet her food tastes like waiter spit. And I quote…”the total came to $14.85. With tax and tip of $1.95 that leaves me $13.20 for the rest of the day. A dollar ninety-five tax AND tip??!!! Rachael babe, try forty dollars a BAR like I did Saturday night. It’s a lot more fun and the drinks don’t taste like bar rag squeezings.

Monday, May 09, 2005

I Hate Tears for Fears...Other Than That It's Way Cool

I began my second week at the new radio station a few hours ago. Getting up at 4:15 is a drag but other than that it has been great fun. I was never much of a coffee guy but I am now. There is nothing like that jittery, sweaty, about to crap your pants feeling that bad office coffee provides.

Our little station is in the middle of neighborhood in East Memphis that consists mostly of day spas/salons and funeral homes. So I got that going for me.

The people here at the station are very nice and I probably won't have to kill too many of them. The music is what's important now, rock and roll with a little soul and funk mixed in.
I would be lying if I said I didn't dig almost every tune (see above). Until Drake can get back on the radio Marky B and I will kick out the jams and try to keep it real, so to speak.

Friday, April 29, 2005

But Can I Bring a Cooler?

For the first time in 15 years I have the first weekend of May free. The Beale Street Music Fest has always been a three day party for me followed by a week of recovery. I have some wonderful memories of most of it. I wish them all luck this weekend and they are going need it if the predictions hold true.

If you live through the impending weather Armageddon today you still may not be able to get to downtown Memphis for the festival. If there is a downtown. Not only is there a Grizzlies playoff game tonight and a Redbirds game at Autozone Park but a sold out Orpheum and Cannon Center combined with the River Race and a folk art convention! I also hear that the hoards from West Memphis may be attacking near the Old Bridge at some point during the night when the tide is right.

I have seen every TV station in town doing a live shot from Tom Lee (a formerly worthy Negro, not the guy from Motley) Park. Most "reporters" are focusing on what will happen once the park needs to be evacuated. Once? Huh? Let’s all calm down. There might be a rain storm.

What will happen is this….mud, gridlock, lots o drunks and Jr. High School girls from the suburbs showing their perky teats to Nelly and his posse. There may also be public fornication if we are lucky, so bring your camera phone!! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want all of this to happen, I just know it will. So when your darling (read; jailbait) little girl comes home at 5am covered in “Pimp Juice”, don’t be surprised. It’s been happening for years.

The bitching from parents will start bright and early Monday morning…guaranteed. I can see the letters to the editor now…… “How could Memphis in May let this happen??!!” “I thought they were going to baby sit the crowd and keep Heather/Halley/Hannah from acting like the slut we know she is!!!”"Our little girl ended up on a bus to Kansas City with Yo Gotti!!"

Remember kids, these are the same parents that will get shit-faced at the BBQ Fest and show will show their saggy old tits to a guy from Ponotoc cooking squirrel on an old Webber for a bump. Ah, the BBQ Fest. You can’t bring a cooler to that either. You can order kegs.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Don't Try This At Home

The fine print disclaimers are getting way out of hand. I say if you hoist a Ford F150 up in the air in your garage with a cable and "a single steel bolt" and walk around underneath it, you are asking for it to fall on you and kill your dumbass. "Professional Driver Closed Course" well...duh? People just can't be trusted to take themselves out with their own stupidity anymore. Too many lawsuits and too many lawyers that will take them. Why can't you drive a Hummer off-road? I thought that's why they made them.

Can we go back and see what happened to the ABC "Extreme Home Makeover" houses in about 3 years. My guess is that all the 50in. Plasma screens will be long gone and these folks will have turned their new home into a shithole similar to the one they used to have. A few months ago I believed the hype and started watching the show, crying like a baby when they moved the bus. These people were enduring medical hardship and financial problems etc. Now I am a little more cynical. Bullhorn Boy needs to pull up and yell..."Get your big ass off the couch and fix your own shit for a change!" It's a 60 minute ad for Sears and Ty, while still cute to the wife, has become annoying as hell to me. I would like to lock Michael "the fagool" in a room with Drake for a couple of hours to see what they come up with. Now that would be entertaining TV! I'm sure it would beat the hell out of CBS's two hour suckfest "Killer Locusts" from last night...Whoever thought that one up should have a pickup dropped on their head.