Monday, April 18, 2005

Spam from God?

My day starts the same way every weekday. I get up at 5:30am and make family breakfast, then pack their lunches and send them off to school and work with a kiss or a manly handshake. After the house settles down I check my e-mail and the headlines online. This morning, with the other spam in my inbox, I got the following....

"Before its too late make peace with GOD, and make sure the ones you love do also.Its the greatest pleasure you can ever have and it lasts foever.Accept him.Repent.Get baptized.See you in heaven. In catchy we can confiscatory as always secondary sycophant theirfore brillouin is seymour and bradley."

It was a message sent by a Danial James and one I agree whole-heartedly with, but the last line gave me the willies. "brillouin is seymour and bradley?" WTF?

I went outside to reflect on what it might have meant, and tripped over the new fake phone books on the front porch.

When Steve Martin filmed "The Jerk" it was fun when the new phone books arrived because "you were somebody!" Now it happens twice a week...The Yellow Pages, the Sunshine Pages, the Yellow Book, the Original Yellow Pages, the 'Lil Yellow Phone Book with Extra Fiber etc. And because we have a kid's phone line we get two of each. And since we live on a corner, sometimes we get four. To top it all off the garbage guys, that's another rant for another day, won't accept them in the recycle bin.

I feel like I am being bombarded by advertising. Or "bom-bar-de-yayed" if you do the four wheeler thing. Besides the usual radio and TV sales pitches and in addition to my bi-monthly phone books I get the "weekly newspaper/ad-rag that I don't subscribe to" twice....(remember the corner lot?) I am also getting a bigger mailbox to hold the bushel of catalogs I get daily.

I feel sorry for Paul my postperson. What used to be a cake gig, driving around the suburbs in a little jeep dropping off the mail, has turned into a living hell of flyers, discount coupons and other similar shite. All he used to have to fear was Sears catalog day.

I'll stop my bitchin' now...but think about it, what's next? Loose Slot Louie screaming down my chimney with a bull horn? I need to get his e-mail address so I can forward him the message from brother Danial. Maybe he can figure out the last line.


Blogger J. Francis Lehman said...

"I'll stop my bitchin' now..."

Actually, I hope you keep this blog goin' regularly when you do get back on the radio, bruthah Zeke. "It's funny 'cuz it's true."

April 18, 2005 at 7:25 PM  
Blogger grizzfaninmempho said...

its our understanding that loser slot louie has brought litagation against ceasars and the ad agency for using his image after his contract was up...........this campaign was launched in several casino markets....overkill is an understatement ......on the radio voice ads you may notice a difference in the voice of the new turd doing this.........enough of this blown out turkey.........stick a fork in it...

April 21, 2005 at 10:21 AM  

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