Monday, May 23, 2005

Keep the Change You Poor Bastard

I turned forty over the weekend and had a chance or two to reflect when I wasn’t doing the usual wife and kids thing. Reading the paper Sunday morning, I realized how screwed up our world has gotten lately. When I was a kid we were scared of the Russians and that was about it. Today….take your pick. But enough of the apocalypse chitchat, what I want to ramble about is tipping. Not leaning back in your seat while you drive, gratuity. To Insure Prompt Service. Not a city in China etc.

I know how to do two things to support my family, radio and bartending. Thankfully, I have not had to tend bar on a regular basis in a long time. The way people tip in this town I would be lining up for government cheese in no time. Bartenders are a lot like radio dorks. There are only a few good ones and they make most of the money. Just remember, most of these guys are not dangerous. Degenerate? Maybe. The worst thing that could happen is they may crash at your house for a few days and eat all your food.
Give them a few bucks, especially if your ugly wife/girlfriend/gay friend has just ordered a complicated frozen drink. A good rule of thumb….”If you make more that forty grand a year and you don’t tip 20% you are a shit-heel. If you don’t make more than forty grand a year, don’t go to bars until you do.”

There is a show on the Food Network called 40 Dollars a Day where host Rachael Ray eats her way through a city for less than forty bucks. Although she is a hot piece of gastronomic tail, she is the Queen of non-tipping beotches! I’ll bet she never goes back to the same town again and I bet her food tastes like waiter spit. And I quote…”the total came to $14.85. With tax and tip of $1.95 that leaves me $13.20 for the rest of the day. A dollar ninety-five tax AND tip??!!! Rachael babe, try forty dollars a BAR like I did Saturday night. It’s a lot more fun and the drinks don’t taste like bar rag squeezings.

Monday, May 09, 2005

I Hate Tears for Fears...Other Than That It's Way Cool

I began my second week at the new radio station a few hours ago. Getting up at 4:15 is a drag but other than that it has been great fun. I was never much of a coffee guy but I am now. There is nothing like that jittery, sweaty, about to crap your pants feeling that bad office coffee provides.

Our little station is in the middle of neighborhood in East Memphis that consists mostly of day spas/salons and funeral homes. So I got that going for me.

The people here at the station are very nice and I probably won't have to kill too many of them. The music is what's important now, rock and roll with a little soul and funk mixed in.
I would be lying if I said I didn't dig almost every tune (see above). Until Drake can get back on the radio Marky B and I will kick out the jams and try to keep it real, so to speak.